Chat with a Mainland Chinese Mom at the Galleria

Today I took the kids to the Galleria to play at the children's playground and they're pretty independent now, so I can just stand and watch with my hot cuppa. It was a very enjoyable time. I'm very grateful that the nasty intestinal virus is now pretty much gone, so I can enjoy food and drink again. And I'm now even more grateful after meeting this mother.

A Chinese mom who looked about my age was there with her son, who looked to be about Bethany's age, roughly 3 years old. Her attention was either solely on him or on her iphone. In the same area was a Chinese grandmother with a smaller infant boy, looked to be about 15-18 months old. Her attention was only on that younger boy. I didn't connect them as related at first. But then the mother would speak with the grandmother, and so I guess they knew each other.

As time went on, the mom came over and since I spoke Mandarin to the kids, she started to ask me some questions about my 2 kids. She asked if they were both born here in the States, if they were born vaginally or via C-section and how I normally care for them. Typical mom stuff, I didn't think too much about her line of questioning... it seems like she's just here for a brief time.

Anyway, what was really interesting was her fears and her experience back in the Mainland that was SHOCKING. I know that it's a "popular" thing to get c-sections there, but I didn't know about how the timing of a c-section could clash with the Chinese new year. Apparently since the post-op anesthesiologist was on new year's vacation, she didn't get any pain meds, and the staff just shrugged their shoulders at her. When it was time to take out the staples, she said she about went crazy from the pain. My jaw dropped. Then when her son was about 14 months old, she went on a trip to Japan and her husband and her found out they were pregnant again. Typically it's against the 1-child policy, but somehow they decided to go through with it (maybe 'cause they found out the child is a boy) and during the entire pregnancy, she was terrified that the c-section scar would rupture. Her doctors kept warning her that it could happen. When does THAT EVER happen?! And what doctor would scare a pregnant woman like that? I could understand that that could happen during natural labor, but during the 9 months of growth? Really?

Oh, and she happened to ask me twice if I chose the gender of my children. Um... no, I didn't. That's NEVER crossed my mind. ... like, huh?! It wasn't until later that I thought, oh, would I ever do selective abortion based on gender? Is that what she was wondering? Oh goodness. She did say that she'd like to possibly have a third, but only if it's a girl, 'cause she doesn't think she can handle 3 boys. Kudos to you Grandma Chu!!

But back to her birth stories - her second son was born also in a similar way to her first and it was terrifying. I really could not believe it. She was having full out panic attacks during her second c-section. No wonder she has so much fear in having c-sections and so many questions. She's only considering having a third child if having the birth here in the US. She wanted to know what it was like here. I told her it's definitely not like her past experience.

She seems to come from a well-off family as she told me that they would either purchase infant formula to take back with her during each trip here, or they'd have it shipped over whenever they run out. They never had their boys drink China-made formula.

Throughout our conversation, I realized that it was either her mother or mother-in-law that was the other Chinese grandmother who was taking care of her younger boy. Ahhh, makes sense now. No wonder she was shocked (her jaw literally did drop) when I told her I take care of both my kids by myself with the help of Caleb in the evenings. She even asked if he was helpful. Yep, I thank the Lord, he IS helpful! She asked about how I go grocery shopping or cook meals. Well, I just take the kids along and they play when we're at home... I don't know how else to do it! She says she doesn't know how she can do that because her son is too naughty. I shared with her that I just put them in the shopping cart and do what I need to do. I told her that when you speak as a parent, the kids need to learn how to obey. She says her son still defies her when she spanks him. Well, that's when you need to find a suitable punishment and stick with it! For some reason, all this was totally novel to her. She asked my age, and I found out that she's just 2 years younger than me. So being from the same generation, it was obvious we're very 2 VERY different cultures and mindsets.

Well, after that conversational exchange, I'm truly thankful for being here in the States, and thankful that Mom had brought us up learning how to obey and making spiritual things practical in our daily lives. I don't think this Chinese lady understood it when I said a few times, "I thank the Lord," when she marveled at how I raise my kids. The Lord teaches us, and we learn starting from our family lives. And most certainly I am blessed to learn these lessons here in the comfort of the US. Thus even more important to learn to obey the Voice of the Lord in such a "comfortable" environment.

Food list for the third go-around

Hm, there's no way of catching up, so I don't think that I'll bother. I'll just do another "brain dump" since I feel this may be worth documenting. :D I'll continue this list for the next 6 months.

Odd cravings at odd times now in the 3rd pregnancy:
Biscuits & gravy at 3 in the afternoon
Rotisserie chicken at 10:30 am
Can't stand my own homemade coffee
Canned ravioli
Hot wings (why are these so addictive?)
Peanut butter marshmallow sandwiches
Mac 'n cheese for breakfast
Hawaiian fried rice for breakfast
Chimichangas
Mashed potatoes
Strawberry milk
Shin ramyun
Anything spicy at church


*Update 11/6/14: Things pretty much settled in terms of appetite by 3rd trimester. Need to put on some weight now though! :)

Well, it sure is an understatement to say that lots has happened. I'll try to keep this brief since I'm always trying to play catch-up anyway!

Joshua Chi-Chien Chu was born 11/12/12 at 1:17 pm, 6 lbs 7 oz, 19" long via c-section. We really wanted to try for a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) and I even had my membrane stripped just like last time with Bethany. We walked the Galleria mall about 4-5 times that week and our deadline was to have Josh come before the scheduled c-section. However God had the other route in mind for us, so who are we to argue with that?
The reason why our OB wanted Joshua out was because the last ultrasound showed that his growth was only at the 14th percentile for his developmental age (labeled as IUGR), which led to the possibility that the placenta was not giving him sufficient nutrients. The amniotic fluid was low as well. All this led to the decision that he should come out prior to 40 weeks. Yet at the same time, the doc recognized that Josh just may be small since Bethany and both Caleb and I are "constitutionally small".
I was having regular labor pains on Friday night 11/9, and by midnight it was only about 4 minutes apart. We happily got everything together and headed to the hospital. After about 3-4 hours, interestingly enough, all the contractions stopped on its own! We went home after not progressing any further.

Well, needless to say, we were at first disappointed, but after all our preparations, God remembered the needs of this small child of ours, and our joy was truly made complete when Josh came out healthy and was able to latch and breastfeed from the very beginning.

Yet it was just a beginning.

After our stay at the hospital and came home, it was only a short 2-3 days before we realized that his breathing was not quite right. It really gave us a scare when we heard his wheezing, gasping and laborious breathing sounds, especially during feeding. So by Tuesday 11/20, we were making a run to the children's hospital ER. With an 8 day old newborn. Murphy's Law hit when all was well as the pediatrician saw him and concluded that nothing was really wrong. Was it just bad congestion that had cleared up or what?


The trip to Josh's own pediatrician the next day revealed that he has laryngomalacia - a condition that hopefully he'll outgrow in time. It makes feeding a long process that tests our patience as he's wheezing and squeaking, trying to catch his breath while taking in a few gulps of milk here and there. It's exhausting so he gets tired and falls asleep. When I successfully wake him up, his latch is even tighter (ouch!) and he swallows another few big gulps. It takes quite a while. Keeps us humble I suppose!

Then 2 days ago I started to have massive bleeding. After it continued for several more hours, I went to the women's hospital ER and then sent home. It didn't stop or lighten up the next day so I was then given some meds... which thankfully now seems to be working!


On top of this, the hospital had added a desiccant to dry up Josh's umbilical cord, but it makes it super sharp and pokes him in the belly. We've been covering it up with cotton, but it makes the whole diaper changing experience that much more difficult.




So while it hasn't been the smoothest ride with our little Josh, we have many, many things to count as blessings! Josh did not come out with any complications, but rather quite healthy! The laryngomalacia is a temporary, (minor) inconvenience. I am recovering fairly well too.

And I'm terribly blessed with wonderful mothers who have watched and cared for Bethany during this time. G'ma Bor and G'ma Chu have played with her, entertained her and kept her well fed. They've cooked wonderful meals to keep us going.

My milk production is on overdrive! We're getting an extra chest freezer to store it all! I didn't have quite the experience with Bethany. While I had enough, this is enough plus lots more!


And I have a very supportive and loving husband who is doing all that he can to make sure all is well, despite work and fatigue each day too.
Above all, there is the Unseen Hand that supports us in ways that man cannot. His love and tender mercies allow us to make small steps forward each day. The love and prayers of the saints uphold us when we don't have the strength to face what is ahead.

Oh truly, bless the Lord, O my soul, bless His holy Name.



 

A year and counting

Sorry - I know a few people have asked me about this blog and for updates. I've been busy, lazy, tired, preoccupied, forgetful... all of the above. :P

Anyway, so much has happened in Bethany's short lifetime. The mailman the other day asked how old she was when we went to pick up the mail at the front of the apartment complex. I said, "13 months," to which he responded, "Oh, she's still brand new!"

Yep Beth, you're still brand new.

You gave us 1 month of good sleep at roughly 3 months. You slept about 7-8 hours and Mom & Dad would wake up thinking, "Whoa.. did Baby cry at all?" But then you hit a growth spurt, and I got up about once a night for feeding. Not bad, really. Then at 6 months, you started to sleep about 10 hours through the night and now you're hitting close to 12 hours. Makes us proud and happy to know you're growing so well.

Another thing which makes us proud is that you eat so well. What else could Mom & Dad ask for? Four good meals a day and such a regular GI system. Because of that we're now working on the potty-training at 13 months. You're a quick one. You were up on your feet and running around at 10 months. Let's pray that regarding the ways of the world - you won't be that quick at learning those things. Some habits and things... it's better to be naive to it.

Okay, I won't get ahead of myself here. This morning's Psalm is so appropriate. Especially in regards to the title of this blog: being a Texan Chu.

Psalm 87
His foundation is in the holy mountains.
The Lord loves the gates of Zion
more than all the other dwelling places of Jacob.
Glorious things are spoken of you, O city of God. Selah.
I shall mention Rahab and Babylon among those who know Me;
Behold, Philistia and Tyre with Ethiopia: 'This one was born there.'
But of Zion it shall be said, "This one and that one were born in her";
And the Most High Himself will establish her.
The Lord will count when He registers the peoples,
"This one was born there." Selah.
Then those who sing as well as those who play the flutes shall say, 
"All my springs of joy are in you."

There's a tie in my heart to Seattle - to Washington. Like I always say to Brother Sun, "I'll come back, like salmon." I was born there and I have an affinity toward it. Bethany was born here in Houston, in this great state of Texas and perhaps she might catch that thing they call, "Texas pride." I grin.

But what matters most, while man may say, I was born here or there, I want to be counted in the city of God when He registers His peoples. The Lord cares about this City. He's building and establishing it. Not only do we get a special birth certificate saying, we're belong to Zion, but He's placed an even more special seal in us... His own Life. So I harken to this eternal city. May all my family, Dad and Bethany and all unborn children - may we all be registered in His glorious city."All my springs of joy are in you."

Growing each day

I find myself occasionally missing the "smallness" of when Bethany was a wee 6 pounder. But at the same time I'm very happy to see how she's growing well each day. We're amazed at the changes seen with each passing day. And once again we reflect and see how if we simply eat and drink of the Lord's abundance each day, continually rest in Him, we will most naturally grow! :)

Short progression shown here:

Bethany's Story

Bethany Chi-Hwei Chu
DOB: 1:54 am 12/15/10
6 lbs 2 oz
19.5"

Caleb and I went to see the doc the morning of 12/14 for the usual weekly OB visit. It was the last NST (non-stress test) and then we visited with the doctor. She wanted to induce Bethany a bit early, given the diabetes which we had already spoken of a week or two before. Our goal was to set a date for the induction. During the visit, the doctor did a bit of manual massage and I went from being about 1 cm dilated to about 3 cm. We didn't know that she had also stripped the membranes, which really preps things for the body to start the whole labor process.

She encouraged us to go walking and said to us as we left the clinic, "I'll maybe see you tonight or tomorrow!" This surprised us, but as we were walking to the parking garage we thought that given her experience, she may be onto something.

I had been finishing up transcribing for Bro Sun's WCCC 2010 messages and the last one that needed to be done was on the topic, "Finishing the Race." If my doctor was correct about going into labor that evening, I needed to finish things up. Talk about "finishing the race"!! I finished and emailed out the last transcript. Whew! :)

We headed out to the Galleria for a walk around the mall sometime around 4-5 pm. It didn't feel too much like Braxton-Hicks false contractions by this time. I was having 2-3 stronger contractions and by the time we stopped by McDonalds for a small bite to eat, the contractions were more regular. I know I'm not supposed to have any food in my stomach prior to delivery, but I figured a small McFish and Sprite wasn't going to hurt if I needed the energy for many hours to come! :P

Now that the contractions were regular and things were progressing normally, we figured it was time to head home. I showered, since the thought of not showering for a few days if I go into the hospital didn't seem too appealing. Thinking ahead, we thought of who could take care of Polo while we were gone. So we called our friend who lives close by to come over and see the dog and get acquainted.

Around 9 pm, our friend and 2 others come by - a bit wide-eyed as they'd never encountered someone going into labor before. While chatting and getting to know Polo, I had to make an announcement: my water broke. It was time to get to the hospital!

We got to the hospital a little after 11pm. Don't forget to signal Caleb - we don't want a traffic violation ticket while getting to the hospital! :P Fortunately it takes only 5-7 minutes to get there.

Our L&D room was room 5. Fetal heart monitor was strapped on and all the papers were signed. We were just getting settled in for the many hours ahead and the contractions were definitely no piece of cake. My birth plan was not to take any meds, but to go as naturally as possible. My OB doctor had not arrived yet, but I was told several times that this wasn't about being heroic and if I wanted anything, all I had to do was ask.

Sometime close to midnight, Bethany's heart rate went below 100 and the nurses had me turn a few times. Her heart rate fortunately went back up and all was well. Because of the fluctuation, the doctor didn't think it was a good idea for me to have any pain meds via IV. I was okay with that explanation.

A little after 1 am, the contractions all of a sudden increased in intensity by a whole lot. I generally can bear the pain, but this was unbearable. If I had only labored for about 2 hours at the hospital and it was going to continue at this rate, I didn't think that I could handle it. I barely could make it out, "Yes, I want the epidural." So Caleb was asked to leave the room for about 15 minutes while they administered the epidural. The needle and injection enters through the spinal cord, and while leaning over, there was a sharp pain in my tummy/uterus. The epidural was inserted without any problems, but right before I laid back down, the fetal heart rate plummeted. Bethany's heart rate decreased rapidly and was down in the 50s. If the heart rate is in the 50s - it's basically flat-lining. My nurse immediately calls for help and many people enter the room. One nurse tries to prevent me from bleeding out, another reports that my uterus is too firm and a third nurse tries to push the baby for any change or response. No change.

I'm given oxygen and before I know it, I'm wheeled into another room and it dawns on me: Bethany must be saved and she's going to have to come out now. Lord, please protect her!

Meanwhile, Caleb only knew of the epidural and is wandering around the halls looking for a waiting area. He found the c-section waiting room and sits down, nodding his head to another fellow dad-to-be. After a few brief moments, he hears a page overhead for all nurses to go to Room 2. He thinks, "Well, we're in room 5, so all is well." Lots of people are running to Room 2, but then a nurse runs into the waiting room and says, "Mr. Chu, your wife is having an emergency c-section. Put this on, and we'll see you in room 2." In great surprise, Caleb puts on the scrubs and heads to room 2, baffled as to what had happened.

At the OR, I was still conscious and started wondering if what had happened to Bethany was because of my request for the epidural. I asked the anesthesiologist if that was the case, and he responds, telling me that it was good that I had asked for the epidural when I did. Because of it, I did not have to go under general anesthetics and be put out entirely, being intubated and all. But now I could be awake for the procedure. Caleb came in and held my hand and very quickly tells me, Bethany is now out. What a moment. :)

Caleb left after a few moments to see her and I felt every pull, push and tug as the doctor and nurses close me up. Throughout the whole thing, I didn't feel any fear or anxiety, but knew that somehow, our Lord would watch over all of us. He is my only source of strength and help for my daughter, because this entire matter is not in my control.

Soon enough, Caleb comes back holding Bethany and I saw her for the first time. I had never imagined such a beautiful child would be my own child. She was small, very pink and every feature was perfectly tiny. My hands were numb and stretched out with IVs and blood pressure monitors attached so I couldn't hold her, but my daughter had arrived! Her Apgar and all the reports up to that time was that she was very normal. I couldn't have asked for more.

When they stamped Bethany's footprints on the certificate, they asked if Caleb wanted her footprints on his scrubs. Sure, why not? We now have her feet printed on his scrubs as a momento. :)

The doctor who performed the c-section told us that it looked like what had happened was a placental abruption. Because everything had happened so fast, my own OB had not even arrived yet, and this on-call doctor was known to rarely do c-sections, unless in the case of an emergency. Part of my uterus looked "old", meaning that blood had not reached it for awhile, so that there was a lack of oxygen to that part. Bethany also went without oxygen for a period of time. The odd thing about this was that I had a very healthy pregnancy, low-risk for all things, a well-controlled gestational diabetes and no trauma to have caused the abruption. Only the Lord had planned and had watched over all these details.

I went into the recovery room after the procedure was completed, however we were not out of the woods yet. After recovery, I went to the post-partum unit and part of the usual routine, nurses would come in and check my vitals every 2-3 hours. They measured my blood pressure and temperature. Throughout Wednesday, I measured a high 101.4 and 101.6 degree temperature. I was given a continual IV drip to keep my vein open and a regimen of antibiotics. Our prayer was that whatever was causing my fever would be taken care of and if I could be fever-free for 24 hours, I would be able to go home at the set date of 12/18, Saturday. Praise the Lord for hearing our prayers an the prayers of our family and all the saints. The fever broke and while it can be nice being taken care of at an hospital, it really is so much nicer to be able to go home. Having blood drawn for more tests, vitals taken every few hours, a continual IV drip inserted into the body really was not easy. I had more important things to learn and attend to: my baby!

The Lord has been our ever-present help in times of trouble and I give all thanks and praise to Him. Each time I see Bethany and hold her, I'm amazed at how wonderful He is. In the heart of her parents, she has been consecrated to Him for His use, His service, His delight. Her Chinese name means great favor, in the eyes of both God and man. May her life be given for the favor of our Lord and Savior.

While typing this story seems a bit long, it's only the beginning. I thank the Lord for the experience, and yes, I thank Him for pain meds too! :) He's blessed me with a wonderful husband who has taken such good care of me and Bethany in these first days of her life and my mom, a newly-minted grandmother has come to serve with such a joyful heart as well. I have much to be thankful for and thank Him and thank Him some more.

Thanks to all who have also interceded for us during the last week. God bless you during this holiday season, may our attention be directed continually upon our Lord Jesus Christ.

Upon Baby's Arrival

I feel like I need to have something profound or memorable to say here, given that we're going to be first time parents in a very short amount of time. But I think the only thing that really resounds through my mind and heart, despite the entrance to a grand, unknown world, is that our focus is still to remain on the Lord.

I'm so appreciative of the baby shower that the sisters, aunties and mothers put together for me and 2 other expectant mothers last month. They shared with me so much, and the main thing that I walked away with is simply that while the focus may be on the labor, delivery, baby, my health, etc etc etc for awhile, we cannot ever lose sight of Who is actually the center and attention of our lives: our Jesus.

People are grinning and asking if we're ready for the sleep deprivation, if we have everything we need, when our mothers and families will be coming, if we need any help, and we're so thankful for all their love and support. And during all these changes, it's the greatest comfort to know that we can still cast all our cares upon the shoulders of our Heavenly Father.

I'm still amazed that it's been 9 months. I can only bow my head and worship Him.

Beth, may you be a life in which our Lord Jesus can find rest and health. May your heart be a place where Jesus is satisfied, where He is the Head of the home, and through you bring much blessing to all those around you. That's Mom's prayer for you in all these days before you arrive!

May 8, 2010; roughly 2 months into conception

25 weeks along, staying at the Wei's after arriving in Houston from Seattle

Now in new apartment, it's a hot Texan summer and baby is at 29 weeks

Family portrait session in the bathroom again! 38 weeks!

Yes, we are nose-scrunchers.

And we have a hard time being serious.

Mom's ready. Dad's ready. Bethany, we're excited to see you!

And Lord, she belongs to You.