On Becoming a Texan Chu: 2014

Today I took the kids to the Galleria to play at the children's playground and they're pretty independent now, so I can just stand and watch with my hot cuppa. It was a very enjoyable time. I'm very grateful that the nasty intestinal virus is now pretty much gone, so I can enjoy food and drink again. And I'm now even more grateful after meeting this mother.

A Chinese mom who looked about my age was there with her son, who looked to be about Bethany's age, roughly 3 years old. Her attention was either solely on him or on her iphone. In the same area was a Chinese grandmother with a smaller infant boy, looked to be about 15-18 months old. Her attention was only on that younger boy. I didn't connect them as related at first. But then the mother would speak with the grandmother, and so I guess they knew each other.

As time went on, the mom came over and since I spoke Mandarin to the kids, she started to ask me some questions about my 2 kids. She asked if they were both born here in the States, if they were born vaginally or via C-section and how I normally care for them. Typical mom stuff, I didn't think too much about her line of questioning... it seems like she's just here for a brief time.

Anyway, what was really interesting was her fears and her experience back in the Mainland that was SHOCKING. I know that it's a "popular" thing to get c-sections there, but I didn't know about how the timing of a c-section could clash with the Chinese new year. Apparently since the post-op anesthesiologist was on new year's vacation, she didn't get any pain meds, and the staff just shrugged their shoulders at her. When it was time to take out the staples, she said she about went crazy from the pain. My jaw dropped. Then when her son was about 14 months old, she went on a trip to Japan and her husband and her found out they were pregnant again. Typically it's against the 1-child policy, but somehow they decided to go through with it (maybe 'cause they found out the child is a boy) and during the entire pregnancy, she was terrified that the c-section scar would rupture. Her doctors kept warning her that it could happen. When does THAT EVER happen?! And what doctor would scare a pregnant woman like that? I could understand that that could happen during natural labor, but during the 9 months of growth? Really?

Oh, and she happened to ask me twice if I chose the gender of my children. Um... no, I didn't. That's NEVER crossed my mind. ... like, huh?! It wasn't until later that I thought, oh, would I ever do selective abortion based on gender? Is that what she was wondering? Oh goodness. She did say that she'd like to possibly have a third, but only if it's a girl, 'cause she doesn't think she can handle 3 boys. Kudos to you Grandma Chu!!

But back to her birth stories - her second son was born also in a similar way to her first and it was terrifying. I really could not believe it. She was having full out panic attacks during her second c-section. No wonder she has so much fear in having c-sections and so many questions. She's only considering having a third child if having the birth here in the US. She wanted to know what it was like here. I told her it's definitely not like her past experience.

She seems to come from a well-off family as she told me that they would either purchase infant formula to take back with her during each trip here, or they'd have it shipped over whenever they run out. They never had their boys drink China-made formula.

Throughout our conversation, I realized that it was either her mother or mother-in-law that was the other Chinese grandmother who was taking care of her younger boy. Ahhh, makes sense now. No wonder she was shocked (her jaw literally did drop) when I told her I take care of both my kids by myself with the help of Caleb in the evenings. She even asked if he was helpful. Yep, I thank the Lord, he IS helpful! She asked about how I go grocery shopping or cook meals. Well, I just take the kids along and they play when we're at home... I don't know how else to do it! She says she doesn't know how she can do that because her son is too naughty. I shared with her that I just put them in the shopping cart and do what I need to do. I told her that when you speak as a parent, the kids need to learn how to obey. She says her son still defies her when she spanks him. Well, that's when you need to find a suitable punishment and stick with it! For some reason, all this was totally novel to her. She asked my age, and I found out that she's just 2 years younger than me. So being from the same generation, it was obvious we're very 2 VERY different cultures and mindsets.

Well, after that conversational exchange, I'm truly thankful for being here in the States, and thankful that Mom had brought us up learning how to obey and making spiritual things practical in our daily lives. I don't think this Chinese lady understood it when I said a few times, "I thank the Lord," when she marveled at how I raise my kids. The Lord teaches us, and we learn starting from our family lives. And most certainly I am blessed to learn these lessons here in the comfort of the US. Thus even more important to learn to obey the Voice of the Lord in such a "comfortable" environment.

On Becoming a Texan Chu

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Chat with a Mainland Chinese Mom at the Galleria

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Food list for the third go-around